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Sometimes it’s really simple …

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Posted by Sheryl Gervais

A month or so ago, I participated in a 21-day meditation challenge presented by Oprah and Deepak Chopra.  I’m practicing the meditations still, choosing one at random daily.  It’s remarkable how I seem to get what I need each day!  Today, Day 9, “Creating Balance” had this centering though:

“my outer world reflects my inner world.”

Getting a little silly this afternoon, I wondered,  does that mean that if I’m in a chaotic mental or spiritual place, that my apartment will be messier?  OR if my apartment is messy then I’m not likely to find harmonious bliss?

Is this just the same way of saying, clean your apartment, clear your clutter and your mind will be good.  OR  clear your mind and find peace and your mental peace and clarity will find its way into your day to day routine and your outer world will begin to mirror that because you’ll be doing the stuff you need to do to maintain that clear and uncluttered mind in an environment that provides serenity,  joy and peace?

I started thinking a little more and remembered this:

“Before enlightenment, chop wood and carry water.  After enlightenment, chop wood and carry water.”  (Buddha)

Then I remembered this:

“Do the dishes and sweep the floor.”

(My Mom)

Let me back up a second.

I have been furiously,  in a very happy way, working on a project and early this afternoon,  hit a bit of a stall, a wall.  I brainstormed.  I sang.  I smelled the fresh flowers I got yesterday.   I played Bejewelled Blitz.   I walked it out.  I visited some cool things in my neighbourhood.  I came back to the project.  Wall still planted firmly.  So I started doing a few chores – not on purpose, it just happened.  Making a bit of supper, I mindlessly  filled the sink with soapy water.  I enjoyed a lovely meal while listening to Van Morrison (Astral Weeks).

Meal done,  I did the rest of my dishes. Unconsciously, no pressure on my thinking, enjoying the bubbles.

Then I swept the floor.  I mean, I really swept the floor.  I squatted with a little whisk broom and got close the dust, the crumbs and forgotten tea drip in front of the stove.  A remarkable thing happened.  The wall came down.  It crumbled into my little red dust pan as I dumped it into the garbage can under the sink.  Just. Like.  That.

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Clutter cleared without any effort or force.  My wall collapsed and the big thing I wanted to do today is done.   And it’s still daylight.  So Deepak, Buddha and my Mom are all correct!

With profound  gratitude and appreciation (and with a tidy kitchen), I’m going for another walk!

PS … what gets you past the wall?

Letting the stick scratch my skin

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Posted by Sheryl Gervais

I was walking to school a few days ago and saw this wee blond lad, maybe three years old,  in little red pea coat (double-breasted, of course and, oh gosh, I think he was wearing short pants too – total cuteness) meandering a ways behind his mom, mindlessly dragging his little hand on the still leafless, dry  hedge planted along the sidewalk.  His mom stopped,  turned and very patiently asked him, “What are you doing Eli?”  “I’m letting the stick scratch my skin.”

I’m letting the stick scratch my skin.

Wow!  I got really excited and for the rest of my walk, I felt that little Eli had shared a simple truth that I was bursting to share.  Little Eli, with his halo of blond curls was being present.  That’s it.   He was enjoying, exploring and experiencing his environment.  Without fear.  Without any preconceived idea of what should be.  He was feeling.  Maybe it wasn’t exactly pleasant: sticks scratching on skin can be itchy.  Might cause a little broken skin.  A little discomfort.

Experience life without fear of scratches.  Sure.  Why not ?

What is fear anyway?  False Evidence Appearing Real.  This acronym is not new.  It’s pretty accurate though.  There is no imminent threat or safety risk to me or to my loved ones, yet F.E.A.R. can provoke strong resistance to even positive experiences.

When we live in the shadow of F.E.A.R.  our potential and promise are compromised.

When F.E.A.R. directs our actions we live in the grey.  What are we afraid of?  Oh, so many things for so many different reasons.  Most of us are at some time in our lives afraid of not being good enough, rich enough,  fit enough, smart enough. Just not enough.  Period.

We fear truth, fear honesty and as a result, our perspectives become skewed to the point that so much around us feels threatening.   F.E.A.R. can trick us into perceiving a threat where there may not be one.

If F.E.A.R.  is guiding relationships, for example, other people can seem threatening to the security of the relationships.  Our partner’s friends, neighbours, co-workers, hobbies, can seem like a threat because we see ourselves as unworthy.  So we respond with jealousy, harsh behaviour that is from a place of F.E.A.R. instead of love.  Instead of loving ourselves as much as we want the other to love us.

I’ve been there.  Consumed by irrational F.E.A.R, without realising it, and in that shadow, I lost sight of the strong, confident, vibrant woman I know that I am.  I became lost in the fog of fear.

And when we are lost, we become desperate and our actions are from a very peculiar, hard to figure out place.

F.E.A.R. is a tricky deal.   It wants us to follow it and be its best friend.  Not a good idea.  The best way to fight it is to truly feel it.  Feel it, embrace it.  Then forgive it.

Recognise it – feel it – forgive it.

Let the stick scratch your skin.

Take your deep breath and recognise it.  Then embrace it and forgive it.  Forgiveness is a very powerful tool and everyone has it in them.  F.E.A.R. is not a fan of forgiveness so it will fight it.  But with every forgiveness moment, F.E.A.R. becomes weaker and our light becomes brighter.

Little Eli has it right.  Let the stick scratch my skin.  Sometimes life will give me stuff that hurts, but I won’t back away from it.  Because, as Leonard Cohen writes,

Ring the bell that still can ring.  Forget your perfect offering.

There is a crack in everything.  That’s how the light gets in.

I want my heart to crack open with light.  So, let the stick scratch my skin. Show me what you got, stick!

“I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, wracked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing.”

- Agatha Christie

How to Receive in Three Easy Steps

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Oh my gosh I can’t get anything done because I don’t know where to start!

The voices in my head are so chaotic and loud, I have no idea what they’re saying!

What the heck am I supposed to do?  How can I get clarity when the reception is fuzzy?  The rabbit ears are held together with aluminum foil and tape and the signal is wonky.

What the *%$# is going on?

Do any of the above sound familiar to you?  Are you tired of being stuck in the fog, behind the glass, under water?

Well, this wee little 1 minute exercise will change your life.  I’m serious.  It will.

It’s a simple 3-step exercise that you can do anywhere. Any time.  As many times as you like per day.

Ready?

Here’s what you need:

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You.  That’s it.  No special equipment or training required.  Just you.

Here’s what you do:

Stop

 

Step 1:

STOP!  Anytime that you feel so overwhelmed that you cannot move.  Stop.  You’re almost there already.  Stand still.  Be a mannequin.  (If you happen to be in the middle of the crosswalk street, wait until you get across the street).

Step 2:

Breathe.  One deep breath in.  Then out.  Nothing fancy required here.  You can, if you like, do belly breathing  – watch your abdomen expand when you breathe in and contract when you exhale.  Or just nice easy breath in and out.  C’est tout.  In.  Out.  One minute.  60 seconds.  In.  Out.photo(1)

Step 3: 

Listen.  Listen.  Maybe hear your breath.  Maybe hear the cars driving by.  Maybe the noise from another room.  Maybe little voices in your head.  Thoughts racing through.  No judgement.  Just listen.

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You are now primed to receive all that you need.

But Sheryl!  I’m no closer to figuring it out with all the noise!  How am I supposed to decipher the good from the garbage?

Glad you asked.

Practice. 

Stopping allows you to focus on your breath.  While you focus on your breathing, let all the chaos wander through.  Don’t judge whatever thought comes to your mind.  Let it meander on, greet it if you like. Honour it. Let it flow.  Let it go.    Eventually the important things that you need to hear, will make their way to the front.

Simple.  Three little steps that you can use to start your day.  At lunch, at bed time. While waiting for the kettle.  Or for the light to change.  Any time.

Try it right now.  Let me know in the comments below how it works.

You are hard to see in the dark.

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(AKA How to be safe (safer) walking to work, school, transit, on dark winter mornings )

You are hard to see in the dark.

A hint of winter blasted the city of Calgary this week, bringing with it the challenges of winter (snow) driving and walking. Here then, is my contribution to your safety and survival as pedestrian this winter:

Mornings are dark. Most common winter coat colour is black. Wearing your fine black coat (all styles) in the dark makes you, the pedestrian, barely visible to drivers. What was that? Barely visible. The pink font here is invisible against the same coloured background. The same principle applies to walkers. You are hard to see in the dark.

SO keep wearing your dark clothes AND:

  1. Look before you cross the street – even if you’ve pushed the crosswalk button, drivers who are RIGHT THERE need more warning in winter to stop. You are hard to see in the dark.
  2. Carry a little flashlight in your hand – or get reflective tape for your bag. You are hard to see in the dark.
  3. Don’t text and walk – practice heads up walking. Be aware. You are hard to see in the dark.
  4. Say hello to fellow pedestrians – that way you’re less likely to bump into them.

PS … my morning walk today was dark, windy, and snowy! I saw a woman with a sparkly sequined pink backpack – great reflective properties! So maybe walkers should invest in pink coats with sparkly sequins for the winter. Safe and fashionable.

My morning walk to school – what happens when lights shine into the driving snow!

Transport Canada and CAA, provide great tips for safe winter driving. Here are my top five:

  • Turn your headlights on. Daytime running lights don’t turn your tail lights on and everyone needs to see you!
  • Take your time.
  • Get snow tires – they make a HUGE difference (not really about you are hard to see in the dark, but REALLY important)
  • Take public transit – be a pedestrian now and then so that you understand what to watch out for.
  • Watch out for the ‘other guy’ – there is a very high chance that other drivers are not doing at least one of the above.

I’m sure there are more! What are your tips for walking, driving, being out in the winter?

Three Joyful Things

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Three firsts in this short post:
1. Using my iPad to post
2. Adding images
3. My first weekly challenge

I’m celebrating!

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A moment in the classroom

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Searching through the list of war dead at Archives Canada’s website has sent me deep into a dark place. I shouldn’t be surprised because every time I teach about war in my Social Studies class, my heart constricts, my tear ducts work overtime to suppress the torrent that might be released, but oh not in front of my class today please.

Sharing these feelings with my students in an honest way has helped and when I do, I see a room of 32 youthful, uncertain, and concerned faces. To break the tension and to bring them back to their familiar and “chill” (their word) teacher, I move into my stand up routine (because really, that’s sometimes what teaching is).

Their collective breath release is palpable – phewf! I ask for a timekeeper – “give me 28 minutes and I’ll explain quickly the background, causes and events leading up to the outbreak of the first world war.” And I do it. Using acronyms from my notes and moving around the room in an animated way, I tell the story. Militarism. Alliances. Nationalism. Imperialism. Awful Governments. MANIA

I demonstrate with exaggeration the way Archduke Ferdinand’s assassin was wandering back home thinking it wasn’t going to happen, and then WHOOP … there it is! And I feel horrible. Move on.

We then watch with entranced horror, a 40 minute video that uses only archival footage and an appropriate narrator to show the four phases of the war. It ends with some numbers: about 8.5 million soldiers dead ; about 21 million wounded. Civilian – numbers range from 7.5 – 9 million killed or wounded.

Silence. Questions, clarification or comments? One girl sheepishly raises her hand. Yes? “Was that real?” Was that real? Oh dear. Yes, it was very real. These were real people taking the videos at the time of the fighting. Yes. And these were real people we saw running through the fields, anguishing in their trenches, fearful and brave? Yes. And I explain the role of war artists and journalists who documented the atrocities in the fields as well as the generals who planned from far away how the young men would spend their horrible days. “Wow! I had no idea!” No.

Today I came to the realisation that we are only two years away from the 100th anniversary of that horrific day in 1914 when the tensions of the region exploded into one of the bloodiest most horrific soul sucking events of the 20th century – brought on by men in power who just wanted more of everything and the impact of which is still felt today in so many parts of the world. WW1 and its aftermath (arbitrarily re-drawn borders, collapse of at least three empires, protectorate states, intense bitterness and resentment, for starters!) lead to the conditions that brought us straight to another global war. Some will argue, this blogger as well, that WW2 was simply a continued and technologically more advanced extension of the first world war. The Great War. The War to End All Wars. The “It will be over by Christmas” War. Kind of a WW 2.0, if you will.

My students are each researching the life of one soldier who fought and died in WW1. They are bringing this man to life through their work and I have reminded them in my most emphatic way that they need and must treat this assignment with respect and due reverence. It is an assignment I cherish and dread. I cherish because the students have an opportunity to see a real person in light of the vague discussion of their history classes and they will do a (mostly) great job. I dread, because I will read their creative letters from their soldier’s perspective and I know it’s going to break my heart.

Old Fart Show and Concert – Brilliant!

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I’ve decided I want to spend my senior years as an old fart (and I use the term old fart with the utmost respect and reverence).  I will hang out with my old fart friends (and some not so old) doing what we love to do.  Whatever that is, I’m not sure.  Maybe what gives us joy now, we’ll just continue to do it and not worry about what others think.

Last night in front of 6000 guests in the Calgary Saddledome, Bob Dylan and his Band with Mark Knopfler gave us the Old Fart Show and Concert in two Acts.   Many audience members, close to that category as well and joined by their young friends and/or offspring, were there  to share a cultural experience that would perhaps entertain, enlighten and inspire.

The show started right on time and Mark Knopfler was heralded onstage accompanied by an exceptional and eclectic band of animated, engaged musicians who shared the spotlight with him throughout the set.  There was much seat dancing,  joyful reception and response from the audience.  Although best known for his work with Dire Straits, and that is what the audience likely was hoping for, Knopfler delighted in long jams and gorgeously playful pieces featuring stand up base, violin, washboard, whistle, and of course his signature guitar licks.  He returned after a rousing standing ovation and delivered a token Dire Straits hit, So Far Away.

At intermission there was much discussion about what was coming up for the Second Act of the show.  What do you think he’ll play?  Have you heard him before?  Do you think Knopfler will join him for a mixed set, the way he did with Tom Petty in Vancouver in 1986?  The tearing down and recreating the set was, from what I could tell, seamless, smooth and efficient, allowing our headliner to be on stage right about 9.

Opening song was loud, Dylan’s voice a barely audible scratch.  The crowd seemed instantly subdued from its early energy buzz.  There was much confusion.

I think the problem is that many people, especially those who have never seen him before, came to the show expecting Dylan 1967.  Or maybe Dylan 1976 .   That’s our own fault if that’s the case.  Those are the versions of the songs that we sing along to.  The ones that are played over and over again in our mind and on the radio and in our cars and our playlists.  The familiar.  Our privilege though is that we get a unique opportunity to hear Dylan’s new interpretations of his vast collection of songs.

A lot of people don’t like that.  They want to be able to sing along.  They want to be appreciated and coddled by the performer.  Perhaps not coddled but at least acknowledged. They also want to understand the performance.  Or at least the words of the songs.  The opening tunes in the concert were so difficult to interpret, not only in the arrangement, but also in the strained vocals (See the set list), that it took a bit of time to recognize even the most familiar.

Which explains, partially, the steady exodus from the arena that began about midway through the first song and continued throughout the set.  The simple alternative is that they just didn’t like what they heard.  End of.

As Mike Bell so eloquently stated in his review for the Calgary Herald, anyone who has been following Dylan the  performer and artist for the past 30 years or who has seen him, knows that Dylan doesn’t come out for us.  He really doesn’t care about interacting with his audience.  He is there to feed his need to perform and he gets the best of the best musicians to play and tour with him.

I have to admit that although I’ve seen Dylan three times prior to last night, I still think I’d like to hear him say, as he sits at the piano for the first time or after he finishes his first couple of tunes, “Hi, how are ya?  Nice to see ya!”   Or maybe, “Thanks for coming!  See ya!” at the end of his show.  But I know that he doesn’t do that.  So, I’m not disappointed.

Bob  Dylan is 71 years old.  The youthful troubadour who was a voice (albeit reluctantly) of a generation is not so young any more.  I think that means that for many of us, it’s tough to see that we too are aging.   He is still very relevant.  His songs, which he claims are gifts from a place beyond himself, still resound within our individual and collective psyche.

This is likely the last time that I see Dylan perform.  Maybe not.   I appreciate that the 1976 Dylan of the Rolling Thunder  is available on YouTube.   I know that I can see that Dylan anytime I like.  But, that’s not who I went to see last night.  And, I’m so thankful that I saw the 71 year old Dylan: the brilliant old fart in the gondolier’s outfit and amazing hat.

PS See the September New Yorker Magazine for a thoughtful discussion of Dylan’s new album Tempest

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